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I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

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I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby scorpionrising » Sep 08, 2017 10:19 pm

I'll go by J here. Easier. I'm not good at this, but I have been doing a lot of self-work and this is a necessary step for me. I have had an account here on the forums, but it was years ago and I remember nothing about it. Thing is, I tried to become fully self-aware without unpacking first, and my brain glitched. I call it a loop. For instance, I hadn't slept in nearly 72 hours because I'm a bit of an insomniac. So I went skipping down a dark and craxy road without dealing with self-care first and ended up involuntary inpatient.

I was horrified and I was lucky. The state that I'm in has dismal mental health prospects and there are so many craxy people here that there are no beds open. I got to stay in a gilded cage but they shoved an anti-psychotic down my throat along with something that was supposed to help anxiety. When they first got me in, they pumped me full of halidol without having any idea who I was or what neurodivergences I had. Instead of anyone talking to me, they all talked at me. They were sure they had me for 14 days. I was out in 5. The cops lied and said I threatened to kill my wife. I didn't. I had a paranoid illusion and felt that something was trying to steal their souls. On the day I was supposed to go to court, my wife prayed. I'm pagan and she's Native American. The DA called and asked her what she thought about me coming home. My wife told her if I went in for the 14 it would have an adverse affect, as my mother died in a psych ward.

I was heading home within the hour. Three different psychiatrists (all white men) tried to upset me badly enough that I would have to go back in restraints. Only one of my aides over the 5 days gave a damn about the person inside my skin. I will never forget what she did for me and my wife. Anyway. They dropped my case.

Finally waking up but I'm worried it's too late. Mother Earth is so upset and people keep denying Her to Her face. If there are any other people who respect our ways or share them here, please say hi if you're so inclined. I've got serious problems with anger management and will heartily and happily self-crit to learn this thing. I am currently working on vinyasa yoga, square breathing, and remembering to hydrate because water is life. I'm writing and reading again when I was too soul sick to do so just 2 months ago.

The problem is this Zyprexa. Anyone else been on this? Come off it and have any advice?

Even if none of these things apply to you and you still want to say hello, please feel free. My diagnosis are only GAD and MDD, though I have 7 of 9 traits for BPD/ERD, men rarely get diagnosed with that latter. Also fairly certain I am rather heavily on the OCD spectrum. I only have schizoid tendencies when Big Pharma gets its hooks in me.

Hi, I'm J. I'm a 30ish craxy-ass trans white guy. Nice to meet you.
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby NickF » Sep 08, 2017 11:10 pm

Hi J, welcome.
"I was terrified when my doctor told me I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new zoloft."
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby naomibardo » Sep 09, 2017 3:44 am

I'm sorry about all the shit you went through at the hospital,sounds horrendous.
Your new self care regime sounds great though and I think this is really important for us to take control and recognise what work we need to do for ourselves,self awareness is key I think.I like how you said you tried to become fully aware without unpacking first,that pretty much sums it up,unpacking all the baggage and clearing things out.
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby Nighteyes » Sep 09, 2017 4:34 am

Hi J! Welcome (back) to Icarus!

I am sorry about what happened to you mother, and what you had to go through in the hospital. Glad you made it out!

Finally waking up but I'm worried it's too late. Mother Earth is so upset and people keep denying Her to Her face. If there are any other people who respect our ways or share them here, please say hi if you're so inclined.


Hi. Thanks for writing. Nature-inclined Norwegian person here, currently practicing a branch of Buddhism that have plenty of "shamanic imagery and rituals", according to scholars... I have a background in paganism, though. But didn't find my home there.

Great meeting you!
~ Nighteyes
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby astra » Sep 09, 2017 10:08 am

Welcome SR. Your previous introduction post was flagged by the system as possible spam and hidden from view pending verification.. not sure why in this case - usually only happens to an actual person if they are using a VPN/Tor/etc that is exiting through a flagged IP. Sorry that occurred as I'm sure it was super frustrating; unfortunately without automated spam countermeasures in place we would occasionally get overrun rather quickly. Anywho, as it was *almost* identical to this post I have moved it out of sight - but can restore if there's any content you want from it, or etc.
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby scorpionrising » Sep 09, 2017 3:22 pm

Hello to everyone! I will reply to you each personally but I wanted to take a minute to say thank you, Astra. I was indeed incredibly frustrated and this has helped me exponentially. Thank you so much for fixing it.
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Re: I hate titling things. Hi. I'm neurodivergent.

Postby WindThroughDoor » Sep 19, 2017 3:57 pm

Hi I had a lot of problems trying to get off zyprexa and would end up in the hospital for month long stays. I think it has a difficult withdrawal syndrome. Eventually I switched to geodon. Not sure how that withdrawal is, but it allowed me to go off zyprexa and I lost 30 pounds. I still need to lose more but that was major weight gain they were minimizing on zyprexa. I think for me, I have been on neurolpetics so long. I have become dopamine sensitive. I have gone off two other meds, so only the geodon now. I am glad you got out of there. I don't like how psych techs try to rile people up. I hope things go more smooth sailing for you, welcome back to Icarus!
Forever is composed of nows. ~Emily Dickinson
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