So things are a bit crazy again in my head. Not spinning, just so isolated. And no way out of the isolation because the alternative is worse. I just keep digging the grave deeper with people. So I have had to withdraw and reflect and just take time alone again. I don't realy mind alone once I get used to it. It's just hard sometimes when I am so isolated. It seems better for now though. I get by. That's all that matters.

Well I think now I have been successful at alienating the few people in my life that actually do care about me. So now, I'm almost ready to die. I don't think I'll write a note. There's nothing left to say. Now I just have to get up the courage to do it. I'm not sure if it will ever happen or if I will just fade away like before. I guess only time will tell.