I told my roomate/best buddy about a nightmare I had last night and he was very shocked. In the dream my paternal uncle brutally raped me. "I'm so so sorry" my pal said to me. But I have dreams like this all the time, I'm kind of used to it, even though it shouldn't be anything someone get's used to. I want to write a zine about my experiences growing up, that mainly have to do with sexual abuse and date rape. I find alot of books on the subject, but very few zines. I know of Support complied by (I think?) the doris zine creator, but am not really familiar with anything else. I like reading these zines a whole lot better because they are so much more personal than books. And usually the people making zines are into the same kind of ethics I'm into. So if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know...

On a lighter note, I was at the bleeding h(e)(a)rt garden space which is still an empty lot (working to amend that situation), cleaning with the aformentioned roomate. All of a sudden, I hear a crow that sounded really wierd, like if my wacko cat that squawks at me was a crow, and all of a sudden there was a whole murder of them (that's the group name actually!) swooping close to our heads. Then all their down feathers from the winter came fluttering down, and I was catching them like big, thick snow flakes. It was such a beautiful gift. I feel such a deep spiritual connection to the earth and all it's creatures, and believe it's one big organism. This was definitely a pure magical experience. When I hitched to philly this weekend to see a metal show and attend a demonstration for Mumia Abu-Jamal, the car I was riding with slowed down next to a farm field and I saw a coyote trotting across, and he/she looked right at me. I smiled and waved. I need a philisophical trickster in my life right now, someone to make me stumble a bit and wake up after the fall.

More ramblings later...Everyone stay strong.